Thursday, October 18, 2012

growing something big!

Oh friends.  How I have wanted to tell you about this for so long.  And yet . . . having known so many who have suffered the heartache of miscarriage, I held off for the traditional 12-week waiting period to be over.  We have heard a heartbeat.  I know that disaster could still strike (nothing is taken for granted in this journey), but I wanted to wait until the likelihood was lower.   

We are going to have another baby!!!!!!

FAQ's on new baby:

Was it a surprise?
Yes.  Not going to give any more details than that, but we were not anticipating having another child just yet.  Jeff, the eternal optimist, says, "Awesome!  All the kids will be out of the house before we're fifty!"  (We hope.)

How do you feel?
Physically:  Great!  As with Vicki Jo, first trimester seems to present no problems for me.  No nausea, no soreness or tenderness anywhere.  I seem to be one of those women for whom the cocktail of hormones present in pregnancy brings about really good well-being.  The one side effect I experienced last time, fatigue, even seems to have stayed away so far.  Although, I was joking with our midwives that "tired" is a very relative term, and now, with one young child, we operate on kind of a different plane than we did before.  Exhausted may just be my way of life!

Emotionally:  Pretty good.  We have gone through some of the "how will we pay for this - where will this baby's space be in our small home - how will needy and sensitive Vicki Jo adjust to this - how can I take maternity leave from my very busy job - am I ready for the physical rigors of carrying another child" freak-outs.  But I have a great feeling of assurance.  It must be the Holy Spirit.  I know now that I can expand to fill roles that I never knew about before.  I ran into an acquaintance awhile ago who kind of summed it up for me:  "You guys don't do anything halfway, huh?"  Yep.  Leave it to us to get married, graduate from school, find jobs, move 600 miles away, get pregnant, have a baby, get ordained, find other jobs, move 600 miles again, buy a house, put an addition on that house, and get pregnant again.  Within three years.  

Boy or girl?
Not going to find out until birth.

Due date?
April or May.  Not really going down the route of announcing a certain date, even to myself or our family.

Plans for care?
Barring any complications, we are going to have a home birth!  Our hospital experience at Vicki Jo's birth was not bad, but it left both of us feeling that there was nothing about it that we couldn't have done much more comfortably at home.  Also, I love the approach of pregnancy and birth being normal life stages for women, not special events that need medical management.  We interviewed several midwife teams, and the one we picked is superb.  Jennifer, Marilyn and Bobbi have mountains of experience, make us feel totally at ease, and are tuned in to my wavelength of food as medicine and using herbs and natural remedies to try to ease pregnancy complaints.

Tennessee has the benefit of the Farm Midwifery Center, founded by Ina May Gaskin, so there are about a gazillion home birth midwives here.  In fact, there is a separate certification for them - the CPM (Certified Professional Midwife).  It involves rigorous training and hundreds of hours of observation and experience.  I feel totally confident that these women know how to handle a low-risk pregnancy and birth.

Jennifer, Marilyn and Bobbi have just set up a practice in East Nashville, about six blocks from our house!  I walked there with Vicki Jo and the pup the other day.  It's lovely.  I will do all my prenatal visits there, except the one at 36 weeks, which they do in our home.  

Second pregnancy compared to first?
Totally different for me.  If there was one song to define my first pregnancy, it would be U2's "In a Little While," especially the chorus of "slow down my beating heart."  There was a nervous, heart-fluttering, shallow-breath anxiety about my whole first pregnancy, from the time I saw "pregnant' on the stick to holding Vicki Jo against my chest, shivering.  It was something I just couldn't shake, despite all my preparation, meditation, and knowledge that the stress was harmful for both of us.  I just don't feel that this time.  At all.  I feel relaxed and at peace.  I don't need a sonogram to tell me a due date.  I don't need to look at a thousand books and websites to see how big my baby is today.  I just work, play, rest and eat as normal.  I have always been someone who likes to repeat experiences, because I know I will do better at them after the first time.  Pregnancy seems to be no different. 

Also, this time, my job is much less demanding (time-wise) and stressful than my prior appointment.  My diet has improved drastically (I cook almost all of our food, we eat grass-fed meats from local farms, drink raw dairy from a farm in Kentucky, and eat cooked and fresh vegetables from gardens and farms, I don't eat nearly as many grains and empty starches as I used to, I drink and eat a lot of fermented foods, and I'm working on getting fish oil into my diet daily).  I'm roughly following the Brewer diet again (embracing principles without the crazy protein counting), although much of it has just become second nature.  For example, I have eaten two eggs scrambled in butter every morning for the last year, so I haven't had to struggle to fit in the two eggs each day that the Brewer diet recommends.

I am working on walking about an hour each day, usually with Vicki Jo on my back and the pup by my side.  If we can scrape together the money, I will take prenatal yoga each week at the local studio (would be a great Christmas present, family members who are reading!), have monthly acupuncture at our community clinic (only $15 per session!), and have monthly massages.  We are contemplating taking another Bradley class, as well, to refresh our skills and to meet other expectant couples.  Again, not sure if we can cover the cost.

Well, I have given you the exhaustive run-down.  We are so happy.  We were and are a bit stunned, but giddy with the love that is growing inside and between us. 

Between five and six weeks at the in-laws' house.
Between eight and nine weeks at the office.

Coming up on eleven weeks.


Erin said...


even one sparrow said...

"Not really going down the route of announcing a certain date, even to myself or our family. "

SO WISE!!! Why didn't I think of that? Seriously, I think my midwife pulled my due date out of a hat. She just sort of decided what day it was. I really think the baby is "due" more around February 28, but she's saying March 7 even though the ultrasound said something different. That's when I realized that due dates are hooey. They're just made up and a guestimate. I'm totally not stressing about the due date -- I think baby2 will arrive between the end of February/early March.

Also - I agree that this pregnancy is more relaxed in that I'm not reading every single website/book imaginable because .. well, I simply can't. I have a toddler to spend my time/energy on. I am very much in love with our next baby too, and am looking forward to it, but I'm also enjoying that the pregnancy is going by much faster than the first time. I'm already halfway there! Crazy! Last time the weeks took FOREVER to creep by!

even one sparrow said...

p.s. I would love a surprise baby! I hope the next one we have is a surprise. I kept waiting for a surprise while I was breastfeeding, but then the month we actually started trying, that's when we got pregnant. I think it would be so exciting to have an "Oops!" pregnancy. :)

Emily said...

Agree about pregnancy flying by thus far! It's great! I'm not waking up every morning thinking "okay, today is 10 weeks and 4 days, I need to do x, y, and z." I'm like, "Uhh, what day is it? Was twelve weeks last week? Oh forget it I have to do a million things." It's kind of awesome.

And about the surprise, it was pretty shocking. Once we finally wrapped our minds around it, it was fine, but this was WAY not the time frame we had in mind!