I'm back! I found this entry that I never published from last March (the 22nd, to be exact), and it really got me thinking. I find it hilarious that I never made it past 12:50. A bunch of stuff has changed in the last nine months (I didn't end up moving appointments, for example, and Jeff is out of the halfway house and doing awesome - he just got his one-year sobriety chip), but the hectic pace is still the same. It's really very telling that I could only keep up with cataloging what I do until early afternoon.
I just got back from a little vacation to visit my best friend outside San Francisco. One of the things I love most about spending time visiting with him is how slow and simple life is. We linger over coffee in the morning. We walk the dog in a great big loop. We have time and space to just talk about ideas. I spend all day shopping for and fixing dinner. And it's so, so not how my life is every day. I don't know if I would like my life to be that open and simple all the time (and I don't really get much of a choice, anyway), but it makes for a perfect place to reflect and get my mental life in order.
I love these kinds of zoom-in posts to see what the warp and weft and weave of the fabric of a person's life is like. Forgive me if you just don't care that much, but I thought some of you might find it kind of amusing.
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
7:15 - we wake up late. Todd has his allergy-induced coughing this time of year, so he kept me up a lot of the night after coming to sleep with me at about 11:30. The dog is tucked tightly into my armpit on the other side. I love this feeling of being pinned between two warm little lumps who love me.
8:20 - after showering, getting the kids dressed, fixing them six hundred different things for breakfast, realizing I'm slightly hungover after I had three drinks and no dinner at this storytelling thing (don't worry, my senior pastor drove!) for my birthday last night, eating some homemade granola, and forgetting to take the dog out, we pile in the car.
8:30 - we pick up my ex-husband at the halfway house where he is living.
8:50 - we drop the kids off at their preschool.
9:00 - I drop Jeff off at a Burger King so he can meet his boss and go work for the day.
9:05 - I call my attorney to discuss the eventuality of my moving and needing to renegotiate our custody agreement.
9:15 - I walk into church, wave at everyone, finish the call with the attorney, and answer emails and texts for awhile.
9:30 - I'm interrupted by a few folks needing bus passes and food bags. No big deal.
9:45 - time for chapel with the daycare kids! I go to the Sanctuary and meet them, light candles, tell the Easter story, sing a few songs, pray, and answer some of their very thoughtful questions about why we have purple in the Sanctuary right now (Lent), why where are so many crosses in there, why there is a screen behind the cross (vents for the organ speakers), and why we light candles.
10:00 - I come back to see that the Moroccan woman who doesn't speak any English and is being divorced by her husband and has no recourse or resources is back speaking with the Senior Pastor. She has been in a lot lately, and we have no idea what to do about her situation. I remember that the son of some congregants is fluent in Arabic and try to reach him.
10:15 - edits, edits, edits. This is Holy Week, plus there is a funeral today, so there are a million things to proof and edit. Early and late service bulletins for Sunday, funeral order of worship, Good Friday bulletin, children's bulletins for Sunday. I also miraculously find the Easter offering envelopes that I thought I was going to have to sell my soul for at some Christian bookstore this week.
10:20 - the family of the deceased for the funeral later is here and setting things up for the visitation to follow, and I have to text the custodian a bunch to get things squared away with them. They set up a chocolate candy bar display that looks, frankly, phenomenal.
10:25 - interrupted by some more folks needing bus passes and food bags. They need to get down to Metro General Hospital for some appointments.
11:00 - I realize that I need to eat before leading the Madison Homelessness Commission meeting at one. I also need to call another District Superintendent about a possible move. Multitask. Panera sounds good. On my way out, I notice that the Moroccan divorcee is gone. I also remember that I haven't brushed my teeth yet today, but I did pack my toothbrush and a little travel paste in my bag this morning. After lunch then.
11:20 - I talk to the DS. I remember that I need to text my mother-in-law and tell her I left Todd's medicines in the preschool office when she picks him up later for his sleepover. I order French onion soup, a veggie sandwich, chips, and water. I get out a book like I'm going to do some reading for my D.Min. program, all studious, but then I just Facebook the whole time I'm eating.
12:30 - I get back to church. The office volunteer tells me about a man to whom she gave a food bag. I realize I need to move the Homelessness Coalition meeting from the gym to the library. I contemplate a third cup of coffee and decide to live dangerously. I brush my teeth first though. Then I give some thought to how I'm going to lead this meeting.
12:50 - I remember to starting downloading the episode of "GIRLS" I'm going to watch tonight on my iPad after bedtime.
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Monday, March 21, 2016
I'm reasonably certain that I was a surprise to my parents. My brother and sister are much older (10 and 8 years), and my parents split very shortly after I was born. No one ever said I was a mistake, and I don't think that. But I continue to be a surprise, even to myself.
Today, I am 31. (Actually not until 3:43 pm, but whatever.)
One of the most surprising things to me is that there are so many people who love and care about me. The ones in the picture are just a few of the ones who have held me together (and been okay with me falling apart). That was at my birthday dinner, where they indulged me by being extra-fancy.
I have never been the most popular, or the most beautiful, or the most charming. That's okay. I don't have to be. I hope I can just know that I'm the luckiest and be the most grateful.