And a big thing, I think, was Jeff becoming a SAHD. Suddenly Daddy had no appeal at bedtime anymore. It has to be Mama. Or else.
We are once again co-sleeping. All night long. That's right. I typically go to bed about seven-thirty, and wake up with my daughter between six and seven. We sleep in her room, on a full-size mattress on the floor.
If I'm very determined, and try as hard as I can to stay awake, I might be able to sneak out after she falls asleep. But then half the time she wakes up and freaks out. Plus she's figured out how to open the door, so there's no physically stopping her anymore. "Crying it out," as a strategy, is no longer really feasible for me, no matter how I might feel about it.
She rebelled against the pack'n'play weeks ago. I don't remember the last time I tried to lay her down in there. We need to just put the stupid thing away. For several months, I could lay next to her on the mattress, wait until she drifted off, and then switch her over to the pack'n'play. But then that stopped. She would wake at the slightest startle and be highly distressed to be placed anywhere other than back in bed, next to me. I think the message there has something to do with being ready for a big-girl bed.
A few times I've gotten fed up with the situation, and resolved to do something about it. I got the No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers from the library, and it is very helpful. I like that it is sympathetic toward children and parents, and helps parents understands their children's needs. But the bottom line is that if I want things to change, I have to put in some work. I need to start a slow process of sleeping further and further away from Vicki, moving across her room, and then into the doorway. I need to have a lot of patience, and be willing to explain to her what's happening over and over and over again.
And there's one big problem with all of that. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, and I'm exhausted. A lot of the time I fall asleep before she does! The thought of getting together a coordinated plan that I will stick to with firmness every night is . . . fatiguing. I'm also hesitant about undertaking this when we may very well get interrupted by a brand-new baby in the midst of executing said plan.
The new baby will, of course, change everyone's sleep patterns. Because he will nurse, he will need me all night. There will be a lot of adjusting for us all. I really have no idea what it's going to look like. But I've pretty much just resigned myself to continuing with the way things are for eight more weeks.
Honestly, it's not so bad! I am really well-rested. I don't do any nighttime snacking. I get to spend twelve hours every night with my baby, while she is still my only baby. If I wake up at three am, I just spend a little time surfing on the old iPhone, then roll back over. I do feel bad for poor Jeff, who is a very social creature. He now spends his evenings alone, or goes over to friends' houses. But we will get through it! All of this childhood stuff is a season, I guess.
It's funny how, when you think about being a parent, the things you are really worried about are never the things that are a big deal. The problems that end up arising are outside of what you could have imagined. I think this was what Jesus meant when he said, "Don't worry about tomorrow - tomorrow has troubles of its own."
|Sometimes Puppy joins in the fun, too.|