wash day

I pretty much always do the laundry on Saturday.  Even when I was in college, and I did one load per week (!), I would do it on Saturday.  I would take my clothes down to the basement laundry room, noting the time carefully.  You see, the washers and dryers locked for the time that they were cycling, but when they finished, they automatically unlocked.  If someone needed the washer or dryer, or wanted some of your clothes, they could swipe them if you weren't there right on time!  I really enjoy laundry, even when we have a lot of it.  It's a chore that requires not that much energy from me, and makes me feel really productive.  And folding satisfies my neatness compulsion.

These days, we are up to 5-6 loads per week.  Baby clothes, sheets, towels + pants, 1-2 adult colors loads, whites.  Diapers are their whole own thing, that I do as needed.

For several years, I'd been using the Target brand unscented free & clear detergent.  It was cost-effective and seemed to get our clothes clean.  I used a very tiny amount for our cloth diapers, and it didn't seem to build up.  But I thought there must be a better way.  One without optical brighteners (whatever those are!?) and other stuff that probably isn't that harmful . . . but if I could do it myself, why not?

I poked around the internets, and found the basic recipe for dry laundry detergent.  There is also a basic recipe for liquid/gel detergent, but it sounded like a lot more work and involved a five-gallon bucket.  The dry one is pretty simple:

1 C borax
1 C washing soda
1 bar grated laundry soap (I've been using Fels-Naptha, and the smell reminds me exactly of my grandparents' laundry room.  You could certainly use Ivory or something unscented if you preferred.)

Mix together and use 2 T per load  (I use about 1/2 T per load for diapers).  Note:  this is for old-fashioned top-loaders.  I have absolutely no experience with fancy energy-saving high-efficiency front-loaders, but I know they are a totally different beast.

I did find, after doing a couple of batches, that I need to grate the laundry soap by hand on a box grater, spread it on a baking sheet for a day or two to dry, and then grind into a powder in the food processor.  If you try to put it in the food processor while it's still "wet," it doesn't break down small enough and you can end up with small pellets of soap in your rinsed laundry.

I also found that over-stuffing the washer (of which I am frequently guilty) causes the detergent not to break down well.  It's a good impetus to keep the loads reasonably sized, which is better for your machine anyway.

I know some people worry about borax and whether it's safe or not.  I'm not concerned.  Here's a good article with lots of research about borax.

Finally, I try to wash everything in cold water, because I know it saves money and it's environmentally friendly.  But the detergent does do better in warm or hot washes.  I try to make up for it by line-drying when the weather is warm and dry.

This detergent works well.  The clothes are clean, smells and stains are gone, and they are much softer than when I was using storebought.  I particularly notice the sheets are very soft - they feel like they have a higher threadcount!

This may be one of those things that people think to themselves, Why would you do that?  Storebought detergent is not killing you!  It's not even that expensive, if you're already using a generic brand!  And that is true.  But sometimes I just like doing things myself.  It makes me feel good and proud of myself, somehow, when I use the one that I've made.  I can't really explain it.  But if you don't want to make your own detergent, then don't!  I would never force you.

$794.87

I have decided to continue a rollout of our family's budget categories and numbers, in an effort to demystify the American relationship with money and provide a forum for discussion.  Since so many people wanted to jump in on the conversation about health care costs last month, I thought I could do a monthly walk through the areas of our budget that stay static:  mortgage, auto and health insurance, student loan payment, phone, utilities (give or take), food (way give or take). 

This month is all about the mortgage.  We pay $794.87 each month for the privilege of the American dream - "home ownership" (a.k.a. living in a house while we buy it back from the bank).  I should actually clarify:  we pay $794.87 each month for homeowners' insurance, mortgage principal and interest, and property tax.  It's bundled and sent to the same financer, who places the extra in escrow and pays our other bills for us. 

When we knew that we would move back to Nashville in March of last year, we wanted to buy a house.  We haven't been living under a rock, so we knew that if ever there was a favorable time to make our first home purchase, it was now.  Historically low rates, sellers dying to get out of their homes, etc.

After months of haggling, being sure that we wouldn't get the house, arguing with the seller about upgrades to bring the house to basic code, and more . . . we signed (sight unseen, in my case - isn't that insane?)!  In June, we signed up for the biggest purchase we've ever made.  Our house, built in 1930, at a little over 900 square feet, cost $159,250.  We mostly paid for the neighborhood, which is hot.  (We constantly get offers in the mailbox from developers who want to buy our property and tear down the house!  Sorry suckers!  Not a chance!)  We paid for a good elementary school nearby.  We paid for amenities like shops, grocery stores, library, and parks in walking distance.  It was a bit of a shock.  In Topeka, where we had been living, the cost of buying a house was incredibly low.  We could have gotten the same house for half the cost.  I was really glad that we hadn't bought in Topeka, but had rather rented, because we wouldn't have gotten much in the sale between these two markets. 

Because of savings and a generous inheritance, we were able to put down 25% and avoid having to pay PMI (private mortgage insurance).  However, because we were able to put so much down, we also didn't qualify for a FHA loan, which would have had the very best rate of all. 

Jeff has okay credit, mine is good but not excellent.  We qualified for a 4.125% interest mortgage.  My stepdad's jaw dropped to the floor when I told him this number.  (He immediately called to refinance on all his rental properties!)  I didn't really realize it was that good a rate until I started talking shop with people who bought in previous years.  I felt really lucky that we could lock that on a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage.  Our broker had suggested even lower rates at the beginning - sub-4%! - but our credit and income just didn't get us there.

I am a person with good financial literacy, but the home-buying process boggled my mind a bit.  It became very easy for me to see how home ownership is a class distinction in our nation.  (Once upon a time, it was what defined the "middle class.")  Even if you have the money for it - if you don't have the paper trail, the people to vouch for you, and the understanding of what the h*** everyone is talking about . . . you can very easily get taken advantage of, or just cut out of the picture altogether.  I do have to confess, it made me feel like quite a grown-up to know what terms like "PMI," "sub-4%," and "escrow" mean.

When I wanted to know what a good price range would be for us, I found an incredibly helpful finance website that explained three rules for homebuying:  the rule of 28, the rule of 32, and the rule of 40. 

The rule of 28 is that your mortgage payment shouldn't exceed more that 28% of your monthly income.  We actually fall a little low on that.  Our mortgage payment is 26% of monthly income for us. 

The rule of 32 is that your total housing expenses (insurance, taxes, mortgage, and I count utilities in here, too) should not exceed more than 32% of your monthly income.  In a month with high utilities, we ride the line on this one, going between 30-35% of monthly income. 

The rule of 40 is that all your debt payments (consumer debt, student loans, mortgage, auto loans, etc) should not exceed 40% of your monthly income.  We do well on this one because we carry no debt except my student loan payment.  Our debt load is about 34% of monthly income.

All in all, I feel happy about our mortgage.  We are in an area we love, we are building equity in a long-term investment that we can borrow against in case of catastrophe, and even if my career causes us to move away, we can rent the house easily - there is a strong rental market in our neighborhood as well.  I'm happy that we didn't buy more house than we need.  It may not be the most impressive house on the block, but it's ours, and it's filled with love and family and good food and laughter. 

So tell me about your housing costs.  Did you buy high or low?  Still thinking about a first home purchase?  What do you pay per month for the American Dream?

for every stoplight i didn't make . . .

My ten-year high school reunion was last Saturday.  I zoomed home to Lawrence from East Tennessee the day after Thanksgiving, dropping off Jeff and Vicki in Nashville and going solo.  The long drive was really nice, actually - a good time to sort out thoughts without having to stop and feed/entertain a strapped-down toddler who naturally feels antsy.

I stayed with our friends Chuck and Leslie, whose wedding I had to miss in September because of a completely asinine mistake on my behalf (I'll tell you about it sometime maybe).  So it was great to see them and catch up, and see how they are doing in Topeka.  By the way, if you're looking for a very cute house in Topeka, they are trying to sell - and the price can't be beat!  Contact me.

The actual reunion was interesting.  The planning committee included one of my good friends Sarah, and another long-time friend Eric.  Also Katie, with whom I spent many long hours in choirs.  I thought they did a fantastic job of promoting the event, organizing and selling tickets, getting the venue ready, and having a good atmosphere.  Everything you would expect from event organizers!

The dynamics were pretty much just like high school.  So, I guess if you had a very fun time then, you probably had a great time at the reunion.  I will disclose that I was always sort of middle-of-the-pack.  Not super-popular, not unheard-of.  I did lots of music and was in advanced classes.  I was not an athlete.  I think I had recreated a version of high school in my mind where the awkwardness and hormones were erased.  Being back in the situation brought it all back - the good and the bad.

I'm second row from bottom, second from left.

I'm not at all sorry that I went!  It was a great time, and I was able to catch up with plenty of folks I would never have seen otherwise.  (And always very entertaining to see the looks when they find out I'm now a pastor!)  Plus, a visit to my hometown is always centering for me.

I was texting with my sister after getting back to Chuck and Leslie's.  She asked how it was, and I told her the same reflections I wrote above.  But then I wrote, "You know it just makes me really glad for the life I have now."

My husband loves Darius Rucker (and all country music, which I think is kind of funny - as well as hard-core hip-hop and rap).  He has a great song that talks about all the choices and opportunities in life that bring us to where we are now:

For every stoplight I didn't make /
Every chance I did or I didn't take /
All the nights I went too far /
All the girls that broke my heart /
Every door that I had to close /
Everything I knew but I didn't know /
Thank God for all I missed . . . 'cause it led me here to this.

If I'd never stepped out to work at a summer camp where I knew no one . . . I would never have met Jeff.  If I'd never applied early for college in New York City . . . I would never have met my best friend Amanda, or have been invited to officiate at her wedding in March.  And if I hadn't decided to come home for the Free State High '02 Reunion . . . I wouldn't have had a chance to reflect on how happy my life is ten years out.

the bedroom conundrum

I've mentioned before that our sweet little house is . . . little.  It was a little over 900 square feet when we bought it, and we added on another 200 or so.  We have a kitchen, living room, dining room, two bedrooms, and one bathroom.

Honestly, my first thought on finding out we were expecting again was, "But we don't have enough room!"  It's going to be tight, for sure.  We have eventual plans to add on a master suite, but they are very eventual.  Like five to ten years eventual.

But then I remembered fondly the years that my sister and I shared not only a bedroom, but also a bed.  I also recall snuggling up a lot with my mom when I was a youngster.  I certainly don't feel like I was "deprived" because I was without my own room.  On the contrary - it was fun and formed a close bond between all of us.

My dreams of putting together the perfect Montessori nursery are on hold yet again.  And you know, I think it's just fine.  There can be a tendency to get very hung on the details and miss the bigger picture of what you are creating.  What kind of environment do I want for my children?  One that encourages touching, exploring, learning, and curiosity.  One where things are not "off limits," but are rather open to them.  That can be done in any number of ways.

It does, though, seem to rule out the possibility of a floor bed for G2 until s/he is a bit older.  I just wouldn't feel safe having both children sleep together in the same room without some kind of protective device surrounding the youngest one.  Vicki's room is completely baby-proofed . . . except for Vicki herself!  I don't think she would try to hurt the baby, but she is very hands-on, if you know what I mean. 

Not to mention the logistics involved in even getting two children, 25 months apart, to sleep in the same room.  I don't even know if it's possible until G2 is on a regular bed- and naptime, which took a long time for Vicki.

So, I have come up with a very loose plan.  Loose because I've found that these plans tend to sit on the shelf when an actual, real baby who has an opinion about the situation suddenly appears!

G2 will sleep in bed with us, as Vicki did, for awhile.  When no one is around to sleep in bed with him or her, s/he will stay in the same cradle we used for Vicki, which was also used for Jeff when he was a baby. 

When it's time for the new baby to move to his or her own space, we will get both kids in their room.  The young one will probably stay in the pack and play (less bulky than a crib), and Vicki will sleep on her floor bed. 

I will need to reorganize the kids' bedroom and really streamline, so there is not a lot of clutter.  When they are older, I'd love to get a bunk bed to save space.  So here is what I envision in their shared room, when it becomes shared:

-Two floor beds, or maybe just one?  Depending on their relationship.
-A low table with two chairs.
-A reading corner with pillows and wall-mounted shelves to keep the books at eye level for them.
-A small potty on a carpet (no room in the bathroom for this!)
-Another low shelf in addition to Vicki's.
-Plenty of hooks hung at child level for sweaters, towels, etc.
-Artwork for the children hung at their eye level (no glass frames).

We keep the dresser full of Vicki's clothes and blankets in her closet.  I will prune them so that the two children share the one dresser for clothes, diapers, etc.

So what do you think?  Am I crazy?  I mentioned this whole plan to an acquaintance, and she said that her grandma shared not just a bedroom, but a bed with four siblings.  They slept head to toe like sardines in a can!  Makes me realize just how fortunate we are, and how much we take for granted . . .

how to make a super-sweet countertop

One of the most fun parts of buying your very own home is that you get to do kind of whatever you want.  Although I have moaned and groaned about the extended length of our addition/renovation (which, after talking to some, is really not that long at all), the amazing thing is that it will yield exactly the kind of house we desire. 

When we bonked down half the wall between our kitchen and back bedroom to make an open living-kitchen space, we needed to put a countertop/bar in to offer more workspace and a transition from one room to the next.

The wall behind the stove in this picture is completely gone (and the door-frame and door into what was the second bedroom).  We moved the stove to the opposite wall, completely re-wired the house and moved the breaker box to another wall, tore out those cabinets, knocked down the wall behind them, and that's where we needed some kind of counter.

I looked at the options for counters.  Stainless (yuck - reminds me of nails on chalkboard).  Corian or other composite (sticker-shock).  Granite or marble (quadruple sticker-shock).  Butcher block (hard to take care of?).  What was attractive to me about stainless and butcher block was that, for most foods, you didn't need a cutting board.  Obviously you need one for raw meat, but for fruits and veggies, you can cut right on the counter.  Also, these surfaces are heat proof.  No need to worry about setting hot pots and pans right onto them. 

I was unimpressed by our standard options.  So we decided to do something completely different.  

We nailed a layer of plywood onto the wall stump, after installing the dishwasher underneath (kind of where that slim little cabinet was in the photo above).  Onto the plywood, we placed large squares of mosaic backsplash tile.  In the middle, we put two brass channels and in between we laid out old broken stained glass (some of it from the backyard stockpile).  After everything was in place, we started layering on Glaze-Coat.  This is a product you've most likely seen on bar tops.  It's a high-gloss self-leveling epoxy resin.  It is heat-proof, and nearly indestructible once it sets.  We thought about grouting the tile into place before adding the epoxy, but decided to just go ahead.

It took us about six or seven applications to get a nice thick layer built up.  We were also covering a pretty large area - about four by six feet.

It has been one of the best turn-outs of our projects thus far! 

One unanticipated cool effect is that the Glaze-Coat makes the mosaic tile look dimensional, although it is actually all the same height.  You can't really tell that from the photo.  It also makes the stained glass really brilliant.  We obviously still have a bit of work to do on it:  we need to trim out the counter, and sand off the bits of painting tape left on from the epoxy applications.

Here's a side view with dishwasher and cabinet we moved.  This is the kitchen side, obviously:

You can see the open feel from kitchen to living room here.  Love it.  We have bar stools on the other side.  I also love the tiny nook we created that is the perfect size for the trash can!  No more tripping over that.  We still need to trim around the dishwasher, as well.  And paint the drywall on the upper right wall.  But all of these things will be done, in time.  No pressure.  Not like we're trying to sell in the next twenty years!

So, if you're re-doing your kitchen and feel stymied by the standard array of counter options, consider this little homemade remedy!  Mosaic tile and Glaze-Coat.  Solving the world's problems, one counter at a time. 

frustration and taking the long view

You have heard me talk about the additions and renovations to the home we just bought.  This project has been going for almost three months now, and I must be honest:  I'm tired of it.  There are a few things you should know about why:

1)  We spent up the budget we had allotted for the house about a month ago, with many more tasks left to do (I missed the memo on adding 25% to your budget for these kinds of things right off the top).  Rather than continue financing it by taking out loans or going through savings, we are doing what we can as we gather the money.  This is a stressful setback for me.

2)  We had planned to do many of the small things (mudding and sanding drywall, laying floor, staining and hanging trim, etc) ourselves to save on labor cost.  This was an unrealistic plan.  Between work, the baby, and taking care of family we find ourselves with little extra time to do these tasks.  What free time we do have we want to give to relaxation, not hard work.

3)  I am impatient by nature, and I want a nice, finished place to entertain friends and let my child run free yesterday.  It is very difficult for me to live with the continual dust, debris, clutter and chaos that this project entails. 

4)  Through the bottle fiasco, it has become clear that our house is not sitting on very solid ground, and there is some sloping on the east side.  I believe that foundation work is in the future and it is just a matter of time.

I feel pinned in at all sides.  I want it done quickly, but we don't have the money to hire the work out.  I want to save money, but I don't want to put in the time that it takes to DIY a big home project.  And in the midst of these frustrations, I begin to feel aggravated myself because all of this is so very whiny.  So I use one of my time-honored stress relieving tactics, which I call "zooming out."  Picture yourself zooming out from seconds to minutes to hours to days to weeks to months to years to decades.  In twenty years, what will I remember?  I will remember this frustration like a passing bump in the road. 

I also try taking the long view.  We want to live in this house for many years.  We have a lot of time to turn it into what we want; there is no deadline.  We want to raise Vicki Jo and whatever other children we have here.  Even if I am reappointed somewhere far off, we intend to keep this house as a Nashville home base.  We love the neighborhood.  If we are lucky enough to lottery into the magnet school two blocks away, our kids will be at amazing schools within walking distance.  We have eventual plans to add on a master suite and another bedroom and bath in the attic.  Eventually this small space will have four bedrooms and three baths!  If we ever do sell it, we are guaranteed to get much more out of it than we put into it. 

I am tired of making lists and not seeing anything get crossed off.  But I never, ever want to take for granted the level of blessing and luck that are present in our life. 

the low shelf

[This post submitted for Montessori Monday at Living Montessori Now.]

At long last, a low shelf!

I feel so ashamed that I would call myself a Montessori enthusiast and yet, Vicki Jo has not had her own low shelf up until now.  Our last living space was not ideal for our life together, and I didn't want to buy more furniture only to move it.  We are finally moved, she has her own room, and the three necessities to me were:  a floor bed, a low shelf (or two!), and a low table and chair.  We have the first, we now have the second, and we will soon have the third.

Rather than buy one, Jeff made one for us and I painted it.  It truly could not have been easier.  I read in Michael Olaf that the shelf was to be four feet in length, 12.5 inches tall, and 11 inches deep.  I cheated a little so that we could use one board, and decided that it would be a simple 4'x1'x1' rectangle.  Jeff bought one 12' 1x12, so that we could have a little room for error.  He sawed it into the proper lengths and screwed it together using a few L-brackets for added strength and stability.

I covered it with some leftover brown paint.  If we wanted to be extra-fancy, we could have sanded and stained it.  The list price in Michael Olaf is $185.  We made this shelf for about $25 - the board cost $22, and then whatever else for screws, brackets and paint. 

I'm trying to keep a variety of interesting work on here.

 Clockwise from top left:
*Napkin and felt square to practice folding
*One rhythm stick (lost its partner!)
*Object permanence box and ball
*A variety of balls that Grandma bought for us ("ball" might be the favorite word right now), for throwing, rolling and chasing
*Circles of varying size, color and texture for sorting and matching
*A little Schleich kitten she loved and wouldn't let go of at the store
*An old doorknob.  I have no idea where this came from, but it has been a favorite for nearly a year.  Vicki Jo loves turning the little lock.
*Good old-fashioned ring stacker

Do the trays look familiar?  I got them at an estate sale several months ago!

the time we bought a house that sat on a dump

No hyperbole in that post title.  We literally bought the town dump.  Here's how it went down.

Our house was built in 1930, and the structure itself was largely untouched since then.  Lots of updating and finishes on the inside, but no foundation work, no additions, no remodeling, not even new siding since about 1960!

We decided to put on an addition almost immediately to make the 933 square feet somewhat more livable for the three of us and our four-legged mammal.  We hired a company called H & H.  Ray is the owner, and Steve works with him.  They are very old friends of Jeff's family and they go to church with us.  Good people.  They set to work as soon as we closed on the house.  Our hope was to have the addition largely done before we even moved.

Building code for our historic district requires concrete footers for any new construction to be 18 inches deep.  H & H decided to do more like three feet, just to be on the safe side.  They got the backhoe in the yard and started digging.  And then the glass started surfacing.  Shards of glass.  Then whole bottles.  They were popping up literally everywhere.  We took a closer look at these bottles.  They were old.  Very old.  So old that most of them didn't even have threads for screwtops.  They were corked or capped.  They say hilarious things like "Milk Weed Cream" and "Listerine" and "Full Half Pint."  They are all different sizes and shapes and colors.
 

 They kept digging.  The bottles kept coming.  They had to get down below this layer of infill to have a solid surface to put our foundation down.  They finally hit something solid at about six feet.

The number of bottles that came out was more than just household trash.

 My guess is that our house sits on what was a dumping group for the neighborhood.  Our backyard has the lowest hollow of the block, and I wouldn't be surprised if a creek or small stream ran through it at one point.  Before regular trash collecting and landfilling, people typically just buried or dumped or burned their trash at some place in the vicinity.  Apparently that place was our backyard.  After eighty or ninety years, it all disintegrated except the glass.

My first thought was, "If the backyard is six feet deep in buried bottles, is our house on shifting ground as well?"  But our inspection had revealed no foundation cracks, no troublesome settling, nothing.  The floors tilt slightly, but it's nothing alarming and is completely along the lines of what is to be expected in an eighty-year-old home.  Our plumber had to do some digging in the front yard for a new water line, and he said it was totally solid and even difficult to get through the soil in the front.  So I'm satisfied that our trouble is just in the back yard.

I have to say, I just kept waiting for them to start pulling skeletons out of there.  It was a little creepy at times.  But innocuous thus far.  And I think we may even make some money off selling these bottles on eBay!

a start

We have begun our foray into creating a Montessori toddler space/bedroom! We just bought our first home and we are so thrilled that Vicki Jo can have her own bedroom at last. I have begun with the bare bones of our space, with more to come as time and money allow.

We have a full-size mattress on the floor, tucked tightly into the corner.  Until we have the room completely safe and secure, she will keep sleeping in her portable crib.  I'm a bit nervous about the transition to the floor-bed, but we have been practicing climbing onto and off of it, so I know that she will be safe if she does decide to venture off.  Eventually a low shelf for toys and activities will run along the wall where the crib is now.  Jeff is in the midst of making that!

Where the unused TV is sitting (you can only see the very top of it) will be the care of self area.  We need to get a small table and chair, put up a mirror, and perhaps even start a toilet learning area right there.  I know it's optimal to have it in the bathroom where she will need to learn to go eventually, but we have literally zero space for an extra potty in there.

To the right in the photo above is the real secret to any good Montessori-inspired space:  closet and storage space!!  We will use this for clothing, supplies, toys out of rotation, diapers, etc.

This is where the reading corner will eventually go.  We are going to make or buy a small library-style display bookshelf, where all books will face outward.  We also have a sweet family heirloom child-size rocking chair that Jeff's grandaddy made for his first Christmas in 1983.  Vicki has just become fixated on climbing into it and rocking!

Sorry for the poor quality of the photos - they are just iPhone quickies.  Check back regularly for progress updates!

big things poppin'

As in, really big.  As in, renovations and addition to our home.  We will be there in five short days!

cautiously optimistic

Well, this home-buying thing ain't for the faint of heart.  But, I think I can tell that (unless the mortgage company does something really evil to us), as of June 11, it will be OURS!!