Thursday, February 18, 2016

how i lost 40 pounds

Hey everyone!  Ready for the newest member-led-marketing, get-rich-quick scheme to sell to your friends?  I have just the one for you!  Let me tell you how I lost 40 pounds in the last 9 months:



0)  hate yourself for being "so fat" after your body miraculously produced two children and nourished them with milk and then sustained all three of you through some exceptionally difficult times emotionally.

1)  start counting calories, then stop when you realize it doesn't actually change how you eat - you just enjoy compulsively checking how many calories are in things like Sonic BLT Toasters and 8 oz of raw milk.

2)  start working out - get a membership to the YMCA if you're motivated by financial investment like me.

3)  get overwhelmed by life and depressed.  This only works if you're in the camp that loses appetite when sad (this is me).  The very pathetic reality is that I frequently couldn't swallow food over the perpetual lump in my throat.

4)  have a tumultuous romantic entanglement. (see #3 also)

5)  have a health scare where you have elevated liver enzymes and your hepatologist tells you the only treatment is losing weight.

6)  do yoga twice a week.

7)  decide it's finally time to stop nursing your 2.5 year old son.

Seriously people . . . I have no idea how I lost weight,  People are always complimenting me and asking me what I did.  I feel like this whole thing was completely ruled by my emotions.  If anything, the working out and yoga are what seems to be the most likely causes.  But I guess what I'm saying is:  I don't recommend my method to anyone.  Celebrate who you are today.  Thank your amazing body, made by God, for serving you.

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